Learning to become a point parent
At a later time in your life, when you look back on your experience as a sports parent, i.e of a child/children engaged in any sporting activity, will you say, "Wow, that was a magical time!" Or will your description be more along the lines of, "It was okay," or worse, "Man, it really sucked!"Why settle for "okay" or suffer through "sucky" when you could be using words like "magical," "wonderful," "exciting" and "engaging" to describe the sports community to which you and your child belong?
Although I usually draw examples from baseball (which isn’t very different from Twenty 20 cricket in India), this time I’ve drawn an example from basketball to illustrate the proposition. I recently switched on the television in time to watch an absolutely magical performance by Steve Nash, the Phoenix Suns’ point guard and two-time NBA MVP (most valuable player), as he led his team to victory over very tough opposition. Watching Nash in action prompted me to reflect upon what is the magical quality that allows this extraordinary athlete  as well as such gifted predecessors as Bob Cousy, Magic Johnson, and John Stockton  to so significan-tly impact a team’s success.
After due reflection I concluded that the qualities possessed by great point guards are very similar to the qualities parents need to develop within themselves if they are to become vital, constructive members of their sports communities who encourage and bring out the best in everyone. Parents who cultivate these qualities are what I call ‘point parents’. Like a successful point guard, point parents magically transform their sports communities.
What can you do to become a successful point parent? Here are some pointers.
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Become a student of the game your child/children love. As a point parent you should strive to improve your knowledge of your children’s preferred sports and games. All too often, parents tend to overly focus on results and outcomes without being aware of the rules, intricacies and nuances of their children’s preferred sports and games. Informed parents can play a very important role in creating a positive sports climate for children, their team mates and coaches.•
Encourage others. Point parents play an important role in helping children and supportive personnel  coaches and parents  succeed. Each team member has something positive to contribute to team chemistry. By making time to get to know every member of the team and becoming aware of their strengths and weaknesses, by investing the effort to discover every individual’s talent and encouraging it to flower, you help to achieve team goals.•
Be a cheerleader. It’s impossible for a team no matter how good, to win every time. Yet even in a losing game there are high points and performances which need to be celebrated and highlighted. Moreover as a point parent you should cheer for everyone on the team, not just your own children. •
Be energetic. Point parents are highly energetic people. However they don’t allow their energy to go overboard. They exercise self control and curb their natural tendency to take charge and interfere in the functions of the coach and the team management. Point parents should express enthusiasm and laud not only achievements on the field, but also the achievements of coaches, managers and supporters who are contributing members of the team’s community.•
Use your peripheral vision. Politics and jockeying for prize positions is inevitable in any team. Therefore point parents make full use of their peripheral vision to become aware of the nuances of what’s happening around them, the various team functions that need to be performed, and relationships that need to be nurtured.•
Be a role model. Point parents consistently demons-trate their commitment to contributing to their children’s team chemistry and community. This requires demonstrating a desire to build a mutually supportive team community that works diligently to achieve its goals. Being upbeat and optimistic in the face of adversity is undoubtedly one of the most important contributions you can make.•
Be supportive to all. A baseball or basketball team comprises more than players on the field. Off-field members of the team have a difficult job to discharge, with little recognition. Therefore take pains to understand what the coach or fitness instructor is trying to achieve and assist him/her in fulfilling her ambitions for the team (assuming, of course, that the coach’s personal ambitions are not getting in the way of achieving the goals agreed upon by the team community).
There is much joy and satisfaction in being a member of a supportive team community in which each parent is striving to become a point parent. Is this an impossible dream? I don’t think so. All it takes is one person who is willing to try and the process of team chemistry will begin. Then there will be magic.
(Dr. George Selleck is a California-based sports psychologist and advisor to Sportz Village, Bangalore)